When two imperfect people live under the same roof – day in and day out – they can rub each other the wrong way. Is YOUR marriage going through a rough patch? Is it possible to renew your marriage and rekindle the romance?
The Bible says nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37, Mark 10:27, Matthew 19:26, Jeremiah 32:17). Ask Him for wisdom to make good decisions. Sometimes, one decision can change your marriage for better – if it’s the right one.
What can change YOUR marriage?
DISCLOSURE – This post contains affiliate links. If you buy something through one of the links, I will earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.
Ready to Change Your Marriage?
Today I’m sharing a guest post by Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness. His resources helped me through a marital rough spot, and I’m an affiliate for his marriage renewal system.
Fertel’s alternative to counseling is helpful if your marriage is stuck or faltering. His book is a small investment for the value it provides. And his FREE articles offer fresh insights into the marriage relationship.
Want to change your marriage for the better? Consider the following advice from a world authority on the psychology of relationships. I appreciate his willingness to share it with us.
Enjoy the post!
A Decision to Change Your Marriage
NOTE – The following content is an adaption of “How to Renew Your Marriage With One Decision” by marriage coach Mort Fertel.
Were your mom and dad happily married? Do you have a marriage like theirs? If you are having marital problems, your parents likely struggled in THEIR marriage. If they endured a divorce, your marriage is also more likely to end in divorce.
Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, the author of Marriage Fitness.
Freud documented the impact that heredity and upbringing have on a person’s fate. We learn “tapes” early in life that we play again and again, oblivious to how they control and destroy our lives.
Does this mean that fate determined the destiny of your marriage years ago? Does it mean that your genes or childhood sealed your fate?
Heredity, Upbringing, and Destiny
There is no doubt that your relationship instincts have deep roots. But those instincts do NOT have you.
Your past always vies for control of your future. But at the end of the day, you have a choice: You can decide to be the master of your destiny rather than a victim of your past.
This, by the way, is the real value in understanding your past and your childhood roots. You can reject what you know doesn’t work and replace old habits with new ways.
Become a Transition Person
Of course, this is no simple task – and not only because it’s hard to break old habits and learn new ways. Most people are more comfortable doing what is familiar yet destructive than what is constructive but unfamiliar.
In other words, they are happier doing what they know does NOT work than doing something they don’t know.
But that’s what it takes to be a “transition person.” A transition person is someone who breaks free from unhealthy, generational relationship patterns.
You are not a product solely of your heredity or environment. There is a third element: your DECISION. And your decision today trumps all your past events.
This, in my opinion, is the real meaning of marriage education. Teaching someone to acquire the ability to choose their behavior.
A successful marriage is not something that “just happens.” You have to craft it. It results from deliberate decisions to make a new way in your relationship.
If you’re ready to script a new chapter in your marriage, subscribe to my free breakthrough report “7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage.” You’ll get a FREE marriage assessment, too. Click here to subscribe.
Warm regards,
Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
More From Mort Fertel
If you enjoyed this guest post by Mort Fertel, you might like these posts:
- Character in Marriage: Where is the Man You Married?
- Connection in Marriage: How to Get Your Husband to Hear You
- Forgiveness in Marriage: How to Forgive and Be Forgiven
Now It’s Your Turn
Thank you for reading this post. Now it’s YOUR turn to chime in. How is your marriage different from your parents’ marriage? What change will you make to have a better marriage?
Let’s fill the comments with friendly conversation. Scroll down to leave a reply, ask a question, or just say hello. And if you liked this post, please give it a share.
Blessings, Annette
NOTE – You are reading “One Decision That Will Change Your Marriage for Better.” A version of this post appeared on Blogger in March 2015. I have updated it for the Savoring Home community.
Photo Sources
- StockSnap | Pixabay | CC0
- Free-Photos | Pixabay
Reference Sources
