May has arrived – and with it, the trends of spring. Sunshine, song birds, and gentle breezes. Lovely flowers from April showers. Mother’s Day. National Stepmother’s Day.
Wait, what? I bet you didn’t know there is a day set aside just for stepmothers. I’ve been a stepmom for 15 years, and I’d never heard of it. I learned about it this week, from a Romper post by Kinsey Gidick.
National Stepmother’s Day falls on the Sunday after Mother’s Day. It’s not an official holiday, but it’s on the calendar of national days.
You might find a greeting card at Hallmark, if you look hard enough. On Amazon, you’ll find an array of mugs for the “best bonus mom ever.” But for the most part, Stepmother’s Day comes and goes without fanfare.
So today, we’ll shine a light on this special day just for stepmoms. We’ll touch on its history. And we’ll look at why and how to celebrate the stepmoms in your life.
Let’s get started.
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Mother’s Day and Stepmoms
Some stepmoms couldn’t care less about Mother’s Day and the hullabaloo surrounding it. But many dread the holiday because of the anxiety or pain it triggers.
Stepmoms often feel undervalued and unappreciated. Outside the family circle. And Mother’s Day can amplify these feelings, especially for childless women.
So yes, it can be tough for stepmoms.
But actually, it’s “kind of awkward for everyone involved. Especially the children. Even in the best of blended families,” said freelancer Jessica Fuselier.
Writing for MomsLA, Fuselier discussed the essence of Mother’s Day. Her post offers a good reminder for all stepmoms.
The fact is, Mother’s Day is for mothers. It’s celebrates the most important woman in a child’s life. “Which, by the way, is not you,” said Fuselier, if your stepchildren’s mom is a part of their lives.
And that’s okay. That’s how it should be.
Mother’s Day and Stepchildren
The reality of step-motherhood is that your stepchildren already have a mom. They don’t need or want another one. Would you?
Furthermore, kids are loyal. Your stepchildren might think they’re betraying their mom if they celebrate you on HER day. They don’t want to hurt her feelings or cause trouble at her home.
So, while it’s nice to receive a Mother’s Day card or phone call, that might not happen for you. Don’t take it personally. Instead, take comfort in the knowledge that your step-kids avoided an uncomfortable situation.
National Stepmother’s Day
If Mother’s Day gets you down, don’t wallow in your feelings. Tell your family about National Stepmother’s Day. That way, they can celebrate YOU without guilt.
If you’re a stepchild, now is a good time to acknowledge your stepmom’s love and support. It’s an opportunity to show her how much you care.
Need a few suggestions? Keep reading.
Below are tips on why and how to celebrate National Stepmother’s Day. In fact, here’s everything you need to know about this special day.
History of Stepmother’s Day
Lizzie Capuzzi, a Pennsylvania nine-year-old, founded National Stepmother’s Day back in 2000. She set the event for the Sunday following Mother’s Day.
Capuzzi wanted to honor her stepmom, Joyce, with a day of her own. But it wasn’t enough to celebrate at home with her family. She wanted other American stepfamilies to celebrate, too.
So Capuzzi wrote a letter to then-Senator Rick Santorum, a leading conservative lawmaker. On July 11, 2000, Santorum spoke on the Senate floor in support of stepparents. His call for a national Stepmother’s Day appears in the Congressional Record.
Reasons to Celebrate Stepmoms
“Nontraditional is the new traditional,” wrote Ron Deal in Preparing to Blend. His website, Smart Stepfamilies, cited Pew Center research to support this. According to the report, more than 113 million Americans have a step-relationship.
Whether you live in a blended family or not – there are many reasons to celebrate Stepmother’s Day. Here are three good ones:
1. To Honor Your Stepmom
The main reason to celebrate Stepmother’s Day is to honor your wonderful stepmom, if you have one. It’s an opportunity to express your gratitude, respect, and appreciation to her.
Your stepmom devotes a lot of her time, energy, and effort to caring for you. Like everyone in a mothering role, she makes mistakes. But she always has your best interests at heart.
2. To Praise Another Stepmom
Don’t have a stepmother? That’s okay. It’s likely someone you know is a stepmom. If so, National Stepmother’s Day gives you a chance to praise her for all she does for her family.
We’ve all heard stories of evil or wicked stepmothers, right? Well, most stepmoms are complete opposites of those fairytale villains. Praise means more to your stepmom than you know.
3. To Appreciate All Stepmoms
As I mentioned earlier, Mother’s Day can be hard for stepmoms. They may have all the responsibilities of motherhood, but few of the perks and privileges.
On Stepmother’s Day, show your support for stepmoms everywhere. At home, school, church, the office, the neighborhood, on social media. They deserve appreciation and celebration.
Ways to Celebrate Stepmoms
Want to celebrate National Stepmother’s Day but don’t know how? Here are five ways to honor the stepmoms in your life.
1. Spend Time With Your Stepmom
If you have a stepmom, the best way to celebrate Stepmother’s Day is to spend time with her. Time together allows you to make new memories. It also strengthens the bond you have with each other.
Your visit could include a day trip somewhere, a nice dinner out, or even a quiet day at home. If you live too far away to visit in person, call or FaceTime your stepmom.
2. Give Her a Thoughtful Present
A popular way to celebrate Stepmother’s Day is to give your stepmom a present. Flowers are a nice gesture, and jewelry is always a hit. But a personal, well thought-out gift may be a better option.
Of course, not any old gift will do. Find out what your stepmom enjoys and would appreciate receiving. Give her something relevant to her interests. Bonus points if you present the gift with a hug!
3. Write Her a Card or Letter
Handwriting is a lost art, and letter writing is a fading practice. That makes a handwritten card or letter all the more special to your stepmom. What’s more, it’s something she can read over and over again.
If you write a letter, use elegant stationery and watch your grammar and spelling. Most important, make sure your words come from the heart. Let her feel your love and appreciation. Your words might give her tears of joy, knowing that you honor her.
4. Give Her a Book of Love
Give your stepmom a book that’s designed especially for her. One that YOU help create. What I Love About My Stepmom is a unique sentimental gift she can treasure forever.
Many of us don’t tell our family members how much we love them. This small, fill-in-the-blank book prompts you to share your thoughts in a personal way. Silly or serious, your one-line answers make it easy to spread the love.
5. Honor Her on Social Media
We live in a digital world where social media plays a significant role. Social platforms help us connect with others, gather information, and share our thoughts.
According to Pew Center research, 75 percent of parents use social media. Mothers, including stepmoms, are especially likely to turn to social networks for support.
Want to celebrate National Stepmother’s Day with your social networks? Use the hashtag #StepmomDay to give a shoutout to your stepparent – and all stepmoms out there. And use it to alert your friends and followers to join the celebration.
Wrapping Up
More than 20 years have passed, and National Stepmother’s Day is still going strong. In fact, it’s picking up steam thanks to a growing number of stepmom blogs.
Do you have a wonderful stepmother? Are YOU that stepmom? Mark your calendar for the Sunday after Mother’s Day, and make it a celebration.
And, as Gidick said, “maybe toast Lizzie Capuzzi while you’re at it.” ◻️
Read More
- 15 Pretty Rose Gifts That Are Perfect for Mother’s Day
- 21 Mother’s Day Quotes That Will Tickle Mom’s Funny Bone
- The Legacy of a Christian Mom: How to Build a Faith Heritage
Now It’s Your Turn
Thank you for reading my post. Now it’s YOUR turn to chime in. When did you first hear about National Stepmother’s Day? How will you honor a stepmom this year?
Let’s fill the comments with friendly conversation. Scroll down to leave a reply, ask a question, or just say hello. And if you liked this post, please give it a share.
Blessings, Annette
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📋 NOTE – This post was first published in 2022. It was updated with new content in 2023.
To my readers who are stepmoms:
You spend a lot of time, effort, and love looking after your blended families. Today is YOUR day, so relax and enjoy it. Happy Stepmother’s Day!
As a stepmom in a blended family, I truly appreciate the fact that there’s a day for me (I just learned about it last year although I’ve been a stepmom for over 5 years!). I have biological kids too, so I do get celebrated on Mother’s Day. But being a stepmom takes a lot of love and patience and emotional labor. It can be really challenging. Stepparents deserve more recognition for the time and effort that they put into their families and the love they pour into their step kids. Plus it’s nice to give step kids an opportunity to to celebrate the bond they have with their stepmom. I enjoyed this post, thank you!
Good morning, Molly. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, and I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day, a Happy Stepmother’s Day, and a lovely spring!